Work Out for All you Skinflints and/or Broke Asses

ALRIGHT FOLKS IT'S TIME TO GET IN SHAPE!  ARE YOU RREEAAADDDYYY!?!?!?  You bet you are.  What we are going to do is three things:  diet, cardio, and strength training.  I've gathered all the resources to get this stuff done on less than a 100 bucks total.  No gym memberships, no stupid "get thin/fit/ripped quick schemes" and best of all?  All of the stuff we're gonna work on are simple improvements to your life.

ALRIGHT FIRST OFF LETS GET YOU EATING A PROPER AMOUNT OF CALORIES:
Myfitnesspal.com-Sign up on this website, and they'll give you a food diary, work out logs, recommended intake, and  best of all almost all foods are already in the database so you don't have to manual count calories.  It's great stuff.   Add me on there if you join up.  I'm Papa_Umad.

NUMBER TWO LETS GET YOU ON SOME KICK ASS CARDIO
The Couch to 5k Program-This is your guide to going from a couch potato to running 3 miles easily.  It starts off nice and slow and gradually you'll build up to being able to run around your neighborhood no problem.  It is a great outline for cardio instead of just running as hard as you can for five minutes at first, and then becoming super tired and burning a few calories.  It will extend your running sessions considerably and make the most out of your runs.

NUMBER THREE LETS TURN YOU INTO A STRONG, LEAN, ASS-KICKING MACHINE

Convict Conditioning-A full guide for a strength training regiment that is completely based off of calisthenics and other bodyweight exercises.  AT MOST, you will need a chin up bar (10-30 bucks).  You can of course by the book but if you're creative I'm sure you can find it for much cheaper ;).  It starts off slow (I mean very slow) and will have you building stronger tendons, joints, and serious usable strength, and you'll be on your way to becoming a BAMF.

Other Things:
-I suggest getting motivated.  maybe check out /r/getmotivated on reddit.  Hit up the courage wolf twitter for some great stuff as well.
-Also get a high energy playlist going, the faster the music the better.  Works wonders for training.  (I also suggest the pokemon theme)
-Get excited to be a healthy YOU.
-/r/fitness is another great resource (also located on reddit)

NOW GET TO IT!